Short Story.

Monday already?! Oh boy! I am so exhausted from this weekend I could fall asleep right now.  We finally got our new computer up and running [it only took all night] and while I was gathering some things off our old hard drive, I found something I wrote for an English Class. I think it’s a pretty stellar piece and I want to share it with you guys.  It’s a short story that is fiction but based on true events involving myself, James and my MIL. So here it is! Let me know what you think!


Megan sits on the hot sticky leather chair. Her brown hair is braided back, her soft hands quickly sort through the box of random knick knacks from James’ room, “Garbage, garbage, donate…garbage” She stops as she comes across a picture of her and James a few years ago on their first date, “Keep.” She smiles to herself.
“Fucking ridiculous.” Megan jumps at the sound of the door slamming as James trudges in the house. “We’re leaving.” He says sternly to Megan as he heads up the stairs.

“What happened?” Megan calls out to James as she slowly gets up from the chair, playing with her hands, confused by James’ actions. The side door gets thrown open again and James’ mother marches in.

“I don’t get what your problem is!” Ann yells at James as she throws her muddy gardening gloves on the kitchen counter. “I just wanted you to move some plants for me!” James comes barreling down the stairs, each step a house shaking thud. He throws his bags on the ground and storms into the kitchen.

“Seriously Mom? You think this is about that? You’re delusional.” James begins collecting his computer. Megan started packing up her homework, trying to stay out of the gunfire.

“All I ask is that you come over every once in a while and help me. That’s what a son is supposed to do.” Ann grabs a beer from the fridge and slides it into a Rock Dam Paint Company cozy. James spins around; his face is burgundy with anger, his jaw shaking from clenching.

“I can’t take weeks upon weeks off of work because you need help changing the ink cartridge in the printer or mowing the lawn! What about your other son? Did you forget John still lives here? Oh wait, he can’t help you because he works four hours a night at Menards and has to play Xbox all day long. God forbid he got off his lazy ass to change a light bulb but I have to drive two hours on a minute’s notice to unload the dishwasher!” James threw his hands up in the air in disgust and continued gathering his things.

“I still don’t get why you’re so upset.” Ann slowly drank her Budweiser while leaning against the counter.

“It’s everything Mom, everything. Your insane expectations of me, the dog situation…”

“Well I think it’s entirely stupid of you two, to be getting a dog.” Ann cut James off and walked into the living room. She laid back in the chair and closed her eyes.

“I’m 22 years old, it’s my money, and it’s my life. If Megan and I want to get a dog, we will get a dog.”

“Well fine then, I won’t pay for your college anymore.” Ann sat up, set down her beer and began searching through her Kmart catalog.

“I. Don’t. Care! I have a semester left, I’ll get student loans, Megan’s dad will help me with that. I don’t care mom, I don’t care! I can’t deal with you anymore!” James hustles back up the stairs to get the rest of his and Megan’s things. Megan quickly finishes packing up her backpack, she couldn’t wait to leave. Ann looks up from her catalog at Megan.

“Can’t deal with me anymore? I’m his mother, what is so difficult about dealing with me?” Megan rolls her eyes and begins to walk away. “Excuse me, what is with the eye rolling?” Ann gets up and follows Megan into the kitchen.

“Ann you just don’t get it. You’re putting pressure on him, on us. You’re causing him to act this way.” Megan shakes her head.

“No. You’re causing him to act this way. He never wants to come home anymore and it’s because of you.” Ann throws her beer bottle into the garbage and grabs a new one from the fridge.

“Are you serious?!” Megan cries out. “I’m not dealing with this anymore! First you tell everyone at dinner that I’m going to get pregnant and trap him into being with me. Then, to make up for it you buy our tickets to Vegas, only to hold it over our heads every time we can’t come to help clean up your mess of a house! You have issues! You’re a hoarder! A drunk!”

“You’re such a bitch.” Ann points her finger at Megan. James comes back downstairs with the last of the bags.

“ENOUGH!” He bellows. James hands some bags to Megan and grabs his keys off the counter.

“You’re leaving?” Ann raises an eyebrow as her eyes darted back and forth from Megan to James. “You wouldn’t be leaving if your father was here…”

“He’s not.” James chokes back his tears and turns towards the door. Megan quickly steps outside and begins packing up the car. James stops at the door and glances around at what was once his home. Boxes upon boxes are stacked in front of the brick fireplace that sent him on his first trip to the hospital. Newspapers and receipts cover the table that once held Thanksgiving dinner. Clothes, bags and boxes of toys supposedly being donated block the stairs to the basement. James looks back at his mom. She was trying to open another Budweiser.

“I knew you would always choose that slut over me!” Ann throws her beer at James. It shatters against the kitchen wall; the beer shimmers in the morning light as it drips down. James shook his head and looks at his mom one last time.

“I wish you died instead of Dad.”


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Posted in Mother-in-Law Monday, Writing

Bridal Showers Galore!

This weekend was insane.  I had my first of 3 or 4 bridal showers, and my bachelorette party! I am so tired, thank god work is slow today. 🙂  All the festivities were on Saturday, which made for an extremely busy and long day, but boy was it fun!!

My Aunts planned my bridal shower and it was at this adorable italian restaurant with seriously the yummiest food I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.  I order spinach ravioli and boy was I in heaven. I’m seriously drooling right now as I’m remember how great it tasted. And the cake, oh my gosh the cake! It was so freaking cute. It was chocolate & vanilla but it was moist and fluffy and the frosting, oh my god. Creamy and Delicious.

The games that my ‘maids came up with were super fun too. The first one we played was a crossword timed game. The crossword asked things about myself and James, like our careers, the church we’re getting married in, month we got engaged etc…That was super cute. The guests raced against each other to see who could answer all the questions and complete the crossword first.  Then the guest played Bridal Bingo while I opened my gifts. Bridal Bingo is where everyone gets a blank bingo sheet, and they fill in the spaces with gifts they think I”ll receive.  If I open a gift that they have in one of their spaces, they get to cross it off and yell Bingo when they get 5 in a row. That was especially fun for my younger cousins.

Everything went great, it was awesome to see my family, my cousins and my friends did a great job with the games and hosting, especially my aunts! I have another shower to attend on Wednesday but this one is a Wedding Shower, so men will be there. I’m not really looking forward to that one.  It’s my MIL extended family, like HER 2nd cousins and aunts, so like mega extended.  I’ve met most of them only once, and a handful of them twice.  So I get to partake in the super awkward repetitive conversation of  “My job is ____, Yes it’s fun I do this___, Wedding planning is going great, Our colors are mainly green, and natural/earth tones, Yup I’m really excited blah…blah…blah….”

Don’t get me wrong, they’re super nice, it’s just uncomfortable for me because I hardly know anyone.  And James always takes off and leaves me by myself. [Bring on the anxiety attacks] Plus this thing is going to last all afternoon/evening. We’re leaving at 12:30, arrive at 3, dinner at 6, and it might be over around 8 or 9, then the 2 1/2 hour drive home. UGH. Plus did I mention we have to carpool with my MIL? I’m trying to put on a ‘brave face’ about it, but it’s hard.

Then after Wednesday, I still have another shower at the end of July, this time it’s James’ dad’s side of the family. PLUS my MIL’s neighborhood might put one on for us. That’s a whole lotta showers, and a whole lotta cake. I hope I can still fit in my wedding dress after all that! 🙂

How many Bridal Showers do you typically have? Are they all Bridal/just women? Or do you have a few Wedding Showers that include men too? Let’s hear it!

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Posted in Wedding Fun!

Fun Invitees!

So last night I was playing around on Pinterest when I came across something I thought was epic. Sending out your extra invites to famous people!  Some of them will send you a letter back that you can put in your scrapbook! Of course it may not actually be them who sign it, but I think it’s still pretty cool. For example, The White House.  If you send them a wedding invite, they’ll send you a congratulatory letter back! How cool is that? I’ve also heard of people who have sent it to the Queen of England! But I have heard that you only get a response if you’re a British Citizen.  You can always try! I sure am!

Another fun famous couple to send an invite to, is Mickey & Minnie Mouse! Or even Cinderella & Prince Charming!  But I hear you can only send it to one or the other. I personally chose Cinderella.  After reading about that on Pinterest I was thought to myself, why stop there? So I am also sending an invite to Channing Tatum [mmm so sexy].  Hey a girl can dream!

Here are the addresses of the couples I listed above:

The Honorable Barack Obama and Mrs. Obama
The White House
Greetings Office Rm. 39
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Mickey & Minnie Mouse
P.O. Box 10040
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830-0010

Prince Charming & Cinderella
P.O. Box 10040
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830-0010

Her Majesty the Queen
Buckingham Palace
London, England SW1A  1AA

Channing Tatum
Management 360
9111 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

If you could send a wedding invite to someone famous, who would it be?  I will keep you guys updated if I hear anything back from any of them!

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Posted in Wedding Fun!

MILM-Holy Drama Llama pt 2

courtesy of

So in my previous post I talked about our truck and UN-invite drama with my MIL [did you miss that? read it here] and I touched on our Wedding Invite Drama.  So let me update you on that now:

So months and months ago, when James and I needed to gather the master list of who to invite and get their addresses, we sat down with people.  I sat down with my mom, got my side of the list taken care of, and then I sat down with my MIL and James’ Grandma to get his side taken care of. James & I arrived at my MIL’s house and Grandma arrived shortly after.  We all sat down on the front porch and my MIL brought out her address book. She handed it to me and then said, “Oh I have to go talk to so and so.” and then she left. I was left there thinking, Um hello? How am I supposed to do this now? What if James & I have questions? So we started thumbing through the address book. Grandma helped make sure we got names/addresses for everyone on James’ Dad’s side of the family.  And she did her best to help us get everyone from my MIL’s side of the family.  Every now and then my MIL would pop in and we could ask her a question or two, otherwise she was off gardening or on the phone or doing god only knows what in the house.  Yes, it was very frustrating.

James & I got together with my MIL 3 more times after that and showed her the list we had.  She said everyone was on there, especially all the family members. Well apparently she didn’t look at the list close enough.  Example #1: James & I had all our save the dates out except a few.  We needed an address for a Betty & Don, and we could tell they were family by the same last name. So instead of calling my MIL [she never answers the phone] I called Grandpa:

Me: “Grandpa I need an address for Betty & Don so we can send them a save the date, do you have it?”
Grandpa: “Well…..they don’t need one.”
Me: “Oh! How come?”
Grandpa: “It’s my brother and sister-in-law….and they’re dead.”
Me: “Oh….well……I’ll take them off the list then……”

OH MY GOD. Did I really just try to invite Grandpa’s dead brother and sister-in-law?! Thankfully he laughed it off when I explained they were in MIL’s address book and she didn’t tell me to take them off the list.  But I was still mortified.  After that debacle James & I showed the list a few more times to my MIL and every time she said, “everyone is on there that needs to be on there.”  Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and James & I were printing off labels to mail out our Wedding Invites.   MIL kept asking to see the master list because she just wanted to see who was invited.  Which of course confused me because I thought to myself, the whole family is and a few close friends, why do you need to see it? But none the less I told her I would send it to her when I had time. Well our laptop broke and our hard drive on the laptop was turned into an external hard drive, so we could only access it with a computer [so basically when I was at work and had time].  With the help of Grandma and a close friend, our invites were done, labeled, stamped, and sent out. [yay! or so I thought….]

This weekend, during the truck drama, James received another angry phone call from his mother.  Apparently I had addressed two invites as Mr & Mrs Last Name to two different families. The first family, we’ll call them the Jones, had 4 adult children that I didn’t know about and Mrs. Jones [who really has been a longtime friend of my MIL, no joke] called up my MIL and said, “are my kids invited? Because I don’t want to be that guest who brings their family that isn’t invited.” Super awkward for my MIL, I get it, but if I didn’t know they had kids who were supposed to be invited, how was I to know to address it as The Jones Family? And James never said anything to me when I asked, ‘should I address this as Mr & Mrs Jones?’ so it technically wasn’t my fault.

The second family, we’ll call them The Smiths, are related to my MIL and they have 3 children who are the same ages as James & I.  Well James didn’t realize that there were 3 kids, he knew about one and she received a separate invite but her 2 brothers didn’t. Big whoops. My MIL wanted to sit down with us and see if there were other families where the whole family wasn’t invited.  So she came over last night.

Holy. Drama. Llama. There were 2 other families, who are related to my MIL, that have children and their invites were addressed as Mr & Mrs and not as The Blank Family. Uh. Oh. My MIL took notes and said she would call them to apologize and clarify that the children were invited.  Which of course I felt bad for, but again, I didn’t know there were any children to invite.  So at this point in time my MIL says, “This is why I wanted to see the list before you sent out the invites so that I could make sure everyone was actually being invited.”

I was Pissed. We had sat down with her numerous times and she always said, “everyone that needs to be invited is on the list.” I was so angry with her, and I let her know it.

Me: “We sat down with you numerous times and showed you the list. You approved it each time. I’m sorry that some of these people’s children didn’t get invited, but you should have told us then, ‘these people have kids, they should be addressed as family’ or ‘they’re total is 5 not 2′”
MIL: “I never knew that was the final list, had I known I would have.”
Me: “why would we show you anything but the final list? It was the final list.”
MIL: “Well…I guess we had a misunderstanding then.”

I really wanted to let her have it. I really wanted to yell and say that every time we sat down, she ran off and didn’t help. That this was all her fault. That it wasn’t on me. That these people were so distant in the family tree James didn’t even know who they were. But I didn’t, that wouldn’t have been mature or fair of me.  So I let it go.

But then, she wanted to add MORE people to the list. “Well I really am close with this person at work.”  “He kind of lives in the neighborhood we should invite him.”  “Well you know these people’s children better than those people’s children so we should invite them.”  James and I had to tell her No at least a dozen times but she still didn’t get it.  One of the people she wanted to invite was James’ boss’ boss’ boss’ boss. No joke. He lives in the same neighborhood but like, 6 streets over and isn’t even a part of the ‘close neighbors’ that are invited.  James said no because his dynamic at work is different than most, and it would be too weird and unprofessional to invite him.  Which I understood but my MIL didn’t. She started to get angry and say things like, “well if I can pay for people to come, and I want them there, then I should have them there!” [Uh no because its our wedding and if we have no idea who they are, and they aren’t family, they aren’t coming]

But James and I stayed true as a team and kept our ground.  We told her no and James even stood up to her and explained why he was saying no.  At the end when she left, he even talked to her outside privately and told her it was rude and disrespectful of her to demand certain people be invited, and for the way she treated him throughout the whole truck incident. I was and still am so proud of him. He told her that he wasn’t a bad son, and that he didn’t have a problem helping her with things.  But that she couldn’t call and expect him to drop everything and help her instantly. That it was not fair how she would guilt trip him into doing things. That she needed to be more independent and doesn’t need his help changing a light bulb.

Like always she got mad and said that we were “training her not to call anymore” and that their “relationship is strained and not what it used to be.” Which if anything their relationship isn’t strained, it’s just different because she’s no longer the #1 woman in his life, and he’s not letting her control and guilt trip him like in the past.  Eventually she’ll understand and we won’t have to be so ‘tough love’ on her, and hopefully our relationship will get better.  But until then, it’ll just be this awkward control battle field.

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Posted in Advice, Mother-in-Law Monday, Reality Check

MILM-Holy Drama Llama pt 1

courtesy of

So Sadly James & I are still awaiting our new computer to be built and arrive.  We thought it would be done this Thursday, but maybe not 😦 But in the meantime, let me catch you up on my lovely Mother-in-Law Drama.

A few weekends ago I got a lovely little phone call from my MIL.

MIL: “Hi I have a question…did you invite Sandy’s stepchildren to the wedding?” (Sandy is James’ cousin)
Me: “Um yeah they’re family so I invited the whole family.”
MIL: “Okay……can you un-invite them?”
Me: “……….”
MIL: “Hello? Are you there?”
Me: “I’m sorry….did you just say UN-invite?”
MIL: “Yeah….see my mom doesn’t want to pay for the stepchildren to fly out for the wedding so I just thought you could un-invite them.”
Me: “No I will not UN-invite them.  Besides I already sent out the invites and I addressed theirs to the WHOLE family.  And even if I hadn’t sent them out, I wouldn’t have UN-invited them anyways.”

Yes, That really did happen. Cousin Sandy just got married back in October and see’s these little girls as her own.  That would be the ultimate slap to the face if I un-invited them just because Grandma doesn’t want to pay for their plane tickets and my MIL thought this was a viable option.  I’m so proud I stood my ground and told her no. But sadly, this is only part one of the latest dramas with my MIL.

Part Two:

Last friday I was at work when I received a phone call from James. He began to inform me that he had just ‘royally pissed off’ his mother.  Apparently she was an hour away at a Barn Sale with some friends.  She saw a table/chair set that she “had to have” [even though she has NO need for it *cough cough* hoarding].  It was around 11am and James had only been sleeping for 2 hours after having worked that night.  Well apparently my MIL called him and told him he had to drive out there and pick up the table and chairs for her since they wouldn’t fit in her friend’s car.  James told her he couldn’t because of lack of sleep he was in no shape to drive and needed to sleep because he had to work again that night. So then she said, “Well I’ll have my friend drop me off and I’ll take the truck and go get them myself.” To which James told her that wouldn’t work because he needed his truck because he had things to do that afternoon.  But he said if it was possible he could help her out the next day.

So of course she freaks out and says, “fine I’ll figure it out myself.”  Well as he is on the phone with me explaining all this, she texts him and says, “Hmm who pays for the insurance? who pays for the registration? oh that’s right it’s me so it’s my vehicle.” [Back Story: The truck use to belong to James’ dad but after he died James started using it and my MIL said we didn’t have to switch it into James’ name/insurance until we got married.]  So James and I got off the phone she he could call his mother to which she started crying and called him a horrible son and how he’s “so unhelpful” and ungrateful. [Um seriously?]

So at this point she’s trying to guilt trip into James caving in and letting her take the truck.  Which quite frankly she does this a lot.  Sometimes she’ll even drag in his deceased father and say to James, “Your father would be so disappointed in you.” No joke, one time she said that to him because he couldn’t drop everything that second and come change  a light bulb for her.

So after saying that James was a horrible son my MIL hangs up on him and texts him that his only options were to let her use it that moment, or the next morning. At that time James called me and told me that even though he had a lot of emotional attachment to the truck, it wasn’t worth it anymore if his mother was always going to try and hold it against him.  So we decided that either she would change the insurance/title into James’ name, or we would give it back and get our own vehicle. So that is exactly what James texted her.

So last night when my MIL came over to discuss wedding invite drama [read about that in my next post] she agreed to sign it over into James’ name. But then she said, “Well I did agree to not do that until you guys got married, so if you want we can still wait until then.” [yeah and have you use the truck against us until then?] James and I responded quickly and both said, No. So thankfully we are in the process of doing that.

Don’t give up if you find yourself in a situation where your in-law is trying to push you around or control you. If they need help with something, always offer to help them but don’t drop everything to help them right away.  Because then you’ll always have to help them right away on their time. Although some situations may call for it [changing a light bulb is not one] there needs to be compromise on both parts.  Your in-law needs to work around your schedule since you are the one helping them. So don’t cave in, stand your ground! And make sure you and your sig. other always handle these situations together, as a team.

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Posted in Advice, Mother-in-Law Monday

Crazy little thing called Life

Hello Hello Hello! Gosh I feel like I have so much to catch you guys up on.

Well for starters our computer died, and we haven’t gotten a new one yet [I’m currently using my work computer] so I apologize for not posting in a week! Hopefully we will have a new one by the end of this weekend. [fingers crossed!] Secondly, James grandfather, John, has been battling throat cancer and he was in town earlier this week.  So we’ve been spending time with him and the family.  Things seem to be looking up! He had a tracheotomy done and will be on that for 3 months, and as long as he continues to quit smoking, drinking and keeps taking care of himself, he’ll be around for a while 🙂

Lastly, it is now 2 months and 10 days until our wedding. Holy cow! I’ve had so much to get done this week, calling the DJ, 2nd payment for the photographer, buying our wedding bands [that was soo much fun!] and figuring out where we were going to get tuxes from. And that’s just the half of it 😉 It’s been hectic and crazy but it’s been fun.  James and I have been sitting down with our wedding binder [a major necessity!] and going over what needs to be done next and splitting up the tasks where needed. It’s been great!

But it didn’t start out so great.  It started out with me realizing, “CRAP…I haven’t looked at our wedding binder in 2 months” Then a mass freak out after looking at the amount of things we had to do followed by me crying to James, “We are SOOOO behind!!” [dramatic? yes I can be :)]  But James calmly sat down next to me, and we went over our timeline/checklist together and he was the one who decided we should split some of the tasks up, and do some of them together. Seriously if this were the oscars, he’s get the oscar for best supporting role.  And even though our list of things to do looked really long, it was done in a matter of days. [oh thank god!]

If you’re a bride-to-be and you find yourself panicking, just stop [collaborate and listen] 🙂 but no seriously, take a deep breath, and make a plan.  Split tasks up between you and your sig. other.  No one says you have to do it all.  Reach out for help. It’ll make it easier for you in the end.

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Posted in Advice, Reality Check

Engagement photo of James & I

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