MILM-Holy Drama Llama pt 1

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So Sadly James & I are still awaiting our new computer to be built and arrive.  We thought it would be done this Thursday, but maybe not 😦 But in the meantime, let me catch you up on my lovely Mother-in-Law Drama.

A few weekends ago I got a lovely little phone call from my MIL.

MIL: “Hi I have a question…did you invite Sandy’s stepchildren to the wedding?” (Sandy is James’ cousin)
Me: “Um yeah they’re family so I invited the whole family.”
MIL: “Okay……can you un-invite them?”
Me: “……….”
MIL: “Hello? Are you there?”
Me: “I’m sorry….did you just say UN-invite?”
MIL: “Yeah….see my mom doesn’t want to pay for the stepchildren to fly out for the wedding so I just thought you could un-invite them.”
Me: “No I will not UN-invite them.  Besides I already sent out the invites and I addressed theirs to the WHOLE family.  And even if I hadn’t sent them out, I wouldn’t have UN-invited them anyways.”

Yes, That really did happen. Cousin Sandy just got married back in October and see’s these little girls as her own.  That would be the ultimate slap to the face if I un-invited them just because Grandma doesn’t want to pay for their plane tickets and my MIL thought this was a viable option.  I’m so proud I stood my ground and told her no. But sadly, this is only part one of the latest dramas with my MIL.

Part Two:

Last friday I was at work when I received a phone call from James. He began to inform me that he had just ‘royally pissed off’ his mother.  Apparently she was an hour away at a Barn Sale with some friends.  She saw a table/chair set that she “had to have” [even though she has NO need for it *cough cough* hoarding].  It was around 11am and James had only been sleeping for 2 hours after having worked that night.  Well apparently my MIL called him and told him he had to drive out there and pick up the table and chairs for her since they wouldn’t fit in her friend’s car.  James told her he couldn’t because of lack of sleep he was in no shape to drive and needed to sleep because he had to work again that night. So then she said, “Well I’ll have my friend drop me off and I’ll take the truck and go get them myself.” To which James told her that wouldn’t work because he needed his truck because he had things to do that afternoon.  But he said if it was possible he could help her out the next day.

So of course she freaks out and says, “fine I’ll figure it out myself.”  Well as he is on the phone with me explaining all this, she texts him and says, “Hmm who pays for the insurance? who pays for the registration? oh that’s right it’s me so it’s my vehicle.” [Back Story: The truck use to belong to James’ dad but after he died James started using it and my MIL said we didn’t have to switch it into James’ name/insurance until we got married.]  So James and I got off the phone she he could call his mother to which she started crying and called him a horrible son and how he’s “so unhelpful” and ungrateful. [Um seriously?]

So at this point she’s trying to guilt trip into James caving in and letting her take the truck.  Which quite frankly she does this a lot.  Sometimes she’ll even drag in his deceased father and say to James, “Your father would be so disappointed in you.” No joke, one time she said that to him because he couldn’t drop everything that second and come change  a light bulb for her.

So after saying that James was a horrible son my MIL hangs up on him and texts him that his only options were to let her use it that moment, or the next morning. At that time James called me and told me that even though he had a lot of emotional attachment to the truck, it wasn’t worth it anymore if his mother was always going to try and hold it against him.  So we decided that either she would change the insurance/title into James’ name, or we would give it back and get our own vehicle. So that is exactly what James texted her.

So last night when my MIL came over to discuss wedding invite drama [read about that in my next post] she agreed to sign it over into James’ name. But then she said, “Well I did agree to not do that until you guys got married, so if you want we can still wait until then.” [yeah and have you use the truck against us until then?] James and I responded quickly and both said, No. So thankfully we are in the process of doing that.

Don’t give up if you find yourself in a situation where your in-law is trying to push you around or control you. If they need help with something, always offer to help them but don’t drop everything to help them right away.  Because then you’ll always have to help them right away on their time. Although some situations may call for it [changing a light bulb is not one] there needs to be compromise on both parts.  Your in-law needs to work around your schedule since you are the one helping them. So don’t cave in, stand your ground! And make sure you and your sig. other always handle these situations together, as a team.

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Posted in Advice, Mother-in-Law Monday

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